Ska Is Overrated
If there's one thing I'm sick of hearing about and hearing recently, its Ska. That's not to say I'm not sick
of hearing about and hearing Emo, Punk, Metalcore, Hardcore, and those other crappy genres, its just Ska has
been more prevalent lately. It's not even that Ska is that bad. It's just... not nearly as good as everyone
keeps ranting about.
The thing I hear most often is "I love Ska, it's like Punk with Trumpets." Now, pardon my ignorance, but how
does that make something good? Modern Punk (just like modern Ska) is whiney, overly poppy, nasal voices over
the same three chords with manufactured "love" songs or false antisocial angst. The only difference with Ska
is that usually their three chords are on the offbeats. Case in point: Sum41 did a Ska album. Shudder.
And trumpets? Trumpets do not make things cool. Trust
me, I know trumpet players. More than I ever wanted to know. They suck the cool right out of things. Guitars?
Basses? Drums? Synths? These things are cool. Strings? Woodwinds? When used properly, they are at least sort
of cool. But trumpets and trombones do not belong in the same sentence as the words "cool." Especially in regards
to rock music.
"But Vampireninja, I like Ska! I can skank to it!" And? For those of your not familiar, Skanking is a type of "dancing"
(and I use this term loosely (like your mom, whoah!)) done to Ska music. Basically, the person doing it sort of skips in
place and flails their arms. Er.. it's not so much a flailing as a moving them back and forth as if they are trying to punch
a midget standing in front of them. Either way, the net result looks as stupid as it sounds. Doing a mindless repetitive action
over and over to music is not dancing. And besides, metalheads have first dibs on this sort of thing with Headbanging, which at
least looks fairly cool if done right and doesn't pretend to be dancing.
And another thing: Kids who listen to Ska are called "Rudeboys" or "Rudekids". Now, does that make sense? Kids who listen to Punk
and get really into it are called Punks. Kids who listen to Goth are called Goth. Kids who listen to Indie are called Indie. Kids who
listen to metal are called Metalheads. So why is it that kids who listen to Ska are called Rudekids? Yes, I'm aware that there's some
sort of dumb explanation involving Jamaican slang, but the point is, it sounds stupid and it does not make sense. And no one knows what
you are talking about when you say it.
So yeah, go ahead and listen to your Ska. It could be worse. I just don't want to hear about how much you love it because of its
Trumpety Punkness, or how you enjoy your fake-dancing Skanking, or anything to do with the word rude when not used to mean Vulgar,
Impolite, or Vampire Ninja.
-Vampire Ninja
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