How to Make Yourself Sound Awesome:

1. Instead of saying "Burn!" when you insult someone, say "Snap!" Snap is so much more awesome. Its just great. I never get tired of hearing it.

2. If you want to say something is cool, invent an awesome new word for cool. Like "that is boss, yo," or "man, those livestrong bracelets are way key." Or even better, drop the awesome bomb, "xhardxcorex." Words like that really get your point across.

3. When in doubt, talk ghetto. Drop random words like "g," "pimp," "dawg," "homie," "word," "bling,"and "ghetto" into your conversations. It will make you sound dope and street, homie.

4. When online, talk terribly. Spell things as incorrectly as possible and leave out grammar whenever you can. Words like "teh," and "smae" should be your staples. Or, go one up and replace vowels with numbers, 1337 style. Be all like "d00d 1 4m t3h 1337 h4x0rz!!!1!!1! j00 4r3 t3h n00b0n1c p14gu3!!!!!!11!!!oneity!!!eleven!" Everone will think you are the greatest thing since Anchorman.

5. Steal lines from movies or shows and say them constantly. A good example of this is the line "I'm Rick James, Bitch!" from the Chappelle show. People never get tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. I for sure know it doesn't inspire a bloodthirsty rage into those who hear it for the fourteenth billion time. I mean, it never gets old. Never.

6. Whenever you do something funny or awesome, which I'm sure you do all the time, turn to whoever is by you and say, "Did you see that? I was all like <whatever it was you just did>. Man, I'm so awesome." You've got to make sure that they did indeed see you and that they are fully aware of your awesomeness.

EXAMPLE: DID YOU SEE ME TOTALLY POST ON DA SITE

 -Vampire_Ninja

Edit: Here's another few ways to make yourself sound "awesome":

1. Be completely and utterly oblivious to sarcasm. Fully believe whatever anyone tells you, especially those who you know to be sarcastic and who are endorsing things you know they hate. I mean, absolutely no one hates that...

2. Post 6 responses to someone's xanga entry, none of which actually relate to that entry. Heck, why stop at 6? You could go ahead and post 10, 12, 100, who cares? It's not like everyone will think you are a pointless and empty sack of worthless. Its not like them asking you to stop means that you should stop. No, of course not.

Jesus fucking Buddha in a burlap sack with a dog, a snake, and a monkey, all being thrown into the sea!