Fun Things to Do In a Hotel Room

Yeah, I'll take a break from my usual rant type thing. Instead I bring you humor: Fun things to do in a hotel room.

Now before any of you fucked up pervs gets the wrong idea, this means NON-SEX things to do in a hotel room. Yeah sorry, didn't mean to ruin your boner, but that's not happening today on this site. Go get your wood (or woman-wood, as the case may be) somewhere else.

Now, I would have my awesome badass pictures showing how the things detailed in this article are more than just speculation, but actual things I've done or seen done in a hotel room, but unfortunately the pictures aren't at this moment online, and xanga wont let you upload them unless you're premium (did I mention that things that make you pay are really really stupid? If not, I should have). But everything I detail here is something that i at one point have done.

1. Iron Bacon

Materials: Bacon, Tinfoil, Duct Tape

Ever sitting in a hotel room on a school trip or the like and get a sudden craving for bacon? Well now you can have it. Somewhere like 90% of hotel rooms have a little iron and ironing board. Set up the ironing board, and duct tape the iron to it with the ironing part facing upwards. Make sure it is secure. Take a sheet of tinfoil and lay it over the iron. Crimp it up around the edges to form a rim so you don't spill grease. Then fold it snugly around. Turn on the iron, and when it reaches full temperature, place the bacon on the tinfoil. After a few minutes when one side is cooked, flip the bacon over. Wait a few more minutes and remove. Caution: make sure to keep any smoke emitted by this away from smoke dectors if their are some in your room. A good way to do this is by covering the detector, either with duct tape or tinfoil.

2. Floor Mummy

Materials: Duct Tape, Willing Idio- er... volunteer

Yeah, you know you'ven always wanted to. Find that really annoying/naive friend of yours, and duct tape them to the hotel room floor. If they aren't willing, it will take more people and a lot more duct tape. I suggest duct taping their hands to their sides with a strip that goes all the way around a few times, and duct taping their ankles together in a similar fashion. After they have been secured to the floor, you can do whatever you want to them. A good idea would be to give them duct tape boobs if they are a guy, or a duct tape wang if they are a girl. Make sure to take pictures. When you finally let them up, be sure to save the breast/crotch piece to tape to the inside of the closeable tv cabinet or somewhere equally as disturbing to the next guests/cleaning staff.

Yes, that's right. I've done these things and have the pictures to prove it. Don't believe me? IM me then and find out. If you don't already have my AIM, I probably don't care who you are and thus wouldn't show you the pictures anyways.

-Vampire_Ninja