The American Nightmare

We all know the American Dream: Start your life in the gutter,  have a horrrible childhood, go through highschool and college, get a job, strike it rich, become a billionare, live happily ever after with your trophy wife. Unfortunately, too many people don't get that it's just a fucking dream. Only a couple of individuals out of the millions of Americans ever make it to the top. And they certainly don't do it through high school and college. I mean, look at Bill Gates. He made his fortune through 10% having the right idea and 90% being in the right place at the right time. Its all fucking dumb luck. So all those of you out there who persue the American Dream, here's your prophecy:

Have a childhood where your parents let you do anything, you will eventually call them by their first names, get through high school and into college. Not anything fancy like Harvard or MIT, but decent enough. Gradute with a worthless degree in some shitty thing like business or computers and with a hundred thousand dollars worth of debt. Marry some skank you meet in a bar. Fuck her, and then have the kid. forcing you both to get married. Move into an appartment far smaller than even the smallest apartment you ever considered. Hold down a shitty job to pay the rent because the economy's so bad that there's no alternative. Develop alchoholism because of your desperate attempts to escape your mundane life. Eventually begin beating your kids, and you'll get divorced by your skank of a wife who takes half of everything you have and leaves you destitute on the street, and leaving you with no option but to live in your parent's basement. Get bossed around by some jerk at work every day. Eventually, you'll find yourself with the barrel of a shotgun in your mouth and taking the easy way out. There's your American Dream, bitch.

-Vampire_Ninja