Once upon a time, there were the olden days of the Xanga. Yes, they were quite lame, but it was all we had.
And by we, I mean the unholy Trinity:
Lumberjack (Shea Korman)
The_Gremlins666 (Kevin Finkle)
And Yours Truly, Vampire_Ninja (James Finkle)
For nearly a year we posted articles, mostly making fun of things (except for The_Gremlins666's, which were mostly stupid).
Then one fatal day, Vampire_Ninja was betrayed, and against his will the Xanga was shut down.
After wading through the like 50 pages of bullshit
my brother saved from our old site (why the fuck did he save the comments?) I managed to extract my old updates.
Keep in mind that the latest of these is from almost a year ago and the second latest from nearly two years ago. And
these are all in unedited form. Some of these were edited by other members of the site while up, some of these reference
old articles by other authors on that site or comments that are not included.
Fun Things to Do in An Overpriced Wisconson Resort (Fun Things to do in a Hotelroom Pt 2)
Nickelodeon's Biggest Mistake
Proof the System Doesn't Work
Fun Things to do in a Hotel Room
Revenge of My Ass (in which I first use the phrase "revenge of vampire ninja"
Happy 4/20
Christians and Pagans: Is there a Difference?
You Call These Options?
American Nightmare
"I'm Teh 1337 H4xx0r"
Anti-Conformity is Still Conformity
Play a Real Sport You Pansy!
How to Sell an Inferior Product for More and Get Away With It
How to Get Yourself Blocked From Our Site
How to Make Yourself Sound Awesome
Knowing Singles Isn't the Same as "Listening to" a Band
Top 5 Reasons Why America is Inherently Worse than Japan
The League of Extraordinary Republicans
Baby Back Ribs... Right off the Savior
Inventing Some Holidays Worth Celebrating
Why America Sucks
Let's Eat Babies
Top Ten Ways to Spite Telemarketers
One Change to Make That Crappy Show Scooby Doo Better