Don't Buy HP
I'm back. For real this time (unlike those last few, not quite so real times). The reason for my big
delay in having another article (and ironically, the subject of this one) is none other than the esteemed
computer company Hewlett-Packard. Today's article will serve as part rant, part public service announcement,
and part cry for boycott.
I will explain. But first, a bit of backstory. My last computer was a HP Pavillion desktop PC. After around 5
months, it suffered hard drive problems and had to be reformatted, and despite that still bitched about having
a bad hard drive every time it was turned on (though still kept working just fine).
So, for graduation I recieved a laptop. And guess what, it was HP. And (surprise surprise) for no good reason,
had hard drive problems within the first three months. I revived it once, like with my old compy, but this time
that wasn't enough. Shortly thereafter the computer crashed again and this time stayed that way. Total and
complete hard drive failure.
Now, just so we're clear, I'm a Computer Science Major. About 90% of my homework is either done online or downloaded
from the internet and then submitted via email. I primarily take notes in class using my Laptop. I update this
site from my laptop. And the list of things I use it for goes on. So when I don't have a computer, I pretty much
am shut out of being able to do just about anything.
So I call up HP's "award-winning" service line. I sit on hold for a good half an hour. And this isn't like, prime
6-9 PM calling hours. I was calling at 1:30 in the morning specifically to avoid being on hold for a retarded amount
of time (as I had tried earlier, like 10:30, and gave up after 45 minutes of holding). So finally, I am connected.
To someone who has an Indian accent thicker than our president's skull. But seriously, incomprehensible. I had to
ask her to repeat herself about half the time she said something. I understand that companies outsource, and that
the majority of outsourcing is to India. I understand that there are people who just can't speak a language without
a heavy accent. But is it too much to ask that these people are not the same people who are required to spend all
day on the telephone talking to people?
And the conversation was a total and complete train wreck. She asked what the problem was. I explained that my hard
drive had irrepairably crashed. She didn't believe me, and told me to turn on my computer. I replied that I could
not, because, you know, my hard drive had irrepairably crashed. She said to turn on my computer. I did, and read
the message that said "Hey, your hard drive has pretty much completely fucked out on you." She told me to turn it
off and turn it back on. Guess what, it said the exact same message. She told me to turn it off and turn it on and
go into safe mode, to run a hard drive diagnostic. I complied, and guess what? The diagnostic said my hard drive had
failed. At this point, the conversation went something like this:
Her: I think your hard drive has failed.
Me: Really?
Her: Let me make you an offer.
Me: Great! (Here I'm thinking, she's going to offer to send the replacement part, no?)
Her: For just 279.99, you can get our extended two-year warranty--
Me: Wait, what? Am I not under warranty now?
Her: Oh, you are. But for just 279.99, you can continue to recieve our award winning service for another two years
complete with--
Me: No, no thank you. I'm under warranty for a year here and have an extended warranty through the store I got the
computer from.
Her: Ok. (Pause). For just 189.99, you can get our year and a half extended service warranty, which will cover--
Me: What? No! I just told you I'm not interested. Listen, I'm under warranty now, for another nine months, correct?
Her: Yes.
Me: And I have two years beyond that covered by Office Depot, right?
Her: Yeah. (Pause). For just 99.99, you can get our one-year extended service warranty--
Me: Stop. Listen, I just want you to fix my computer. I am NOT interested in a warranty. Of any kind. I am well
covered for the next several years.
Her: Yes, but with one of our warranties you will continue to receive our award-winning service and--
Me: No. Please. I am NOT INTERESTED IN PURCHASING A WARRANTY. Is that clear?
If anything, I cut out one or two attempts durring that block of coversation for her to slip in another offer for a
service that I repeatedly stated I had no interest in whatsoever (and with good reason, seeing the quality of it).
Finally, she connected me with a hard drive representative, who assured me a new hard drive would be shipping out
immediately, and would arrive in one to two days, probably Friday (it was a wednesday I was calling). I thought,
great, this nightmare will soon be over.
But no. That'd be far too easy. Friday came and went and there was no hard drive. Saturday came and went and there
was no hard drive. MONDAY came and went, and still no hard drive. Tuesday morning I log onto my email in the dorm
computer lab to check why the hell this was not here yet. I go to the tracking page, and it lists the order as never
having shipped yet. Seven whole days had passed, and NOTHING had happened regarding this part I was supposed to have
gotten after two. Infuriorated, I look on the HP web page for a place to contact with complaints. The best I find is
a way to email their CEO (of course it won't go to him, but its the thought that counts). I send an angry, though
tastefully worded email detailing the failings of HP's products and support service, and how they would never again
receive any business from me, and I would spread the word to everyone who would listen. I actually recieved a
response to this, but it was basically just "Your complaint has been noted".
So I call in again. Definitely not something I ever wanted to go through again. But after a full week of seeing
zero progress on my computer getting fixed, I had no other choice. This time, I got connected with someone who I've
dubbed "Retardedly Repetitive Man". Like, to the point where I would have rather talked to a machine. Take a look:
Me: Hello, I called last Wednesday with a hard drive complaint, they told me it was shipping right away and would
be there in 1-2 days, but according to the tracking it hasn't shipped yet.
Retardedly Repetitive Man: Did you pay anything extra for shipping?
Me: No, I was under the impression it was completely free
RRM: Did you pay extra for shipping?
Me: No, they said it would ship to me in 1-2 days for free, but it hasn't been shipped and it's been seven days.
RRM: Did you pay extra for the shipping?
Me: For the last time, no. I was told that it would ship free of charge. I'm under warranty. I just want to know
why it's been 7 days and it hasn't shipped yet.
RRM: I've got your case here. The order has been delayed.
Me: For 7 whole days? Why?
RRM: It's been delayed
Me: Yeah, but it's been 7 days. A delay is like maybe a day or two. 7 days is just plain unacceptable unless theres
some very good reason. What is the reason for that?
RRM: The reason is, that your package, it has been delayed.
Me: Urgh, fine. Look. when will I get it then?
RRM: You should be recieving your package in 1-2 business days.
Me: No, that's not acceptable. They told me that seven whole days ago and I still haven't seen any progress on it.
RRM: It's been entered into the computer. It should be updated in 12 hours. You will get it in 1-2 business days.
Me: I'm telling you that that is an unacceptable answer, as they told me that exact same thing seven entire days ago.
RRM: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Me: Yeah, get me me hard drive.
RRM: (Pause) it's been entered into the computer. it should be updated in 12 hours. You will get it in 1-2 business days.
Me: Ugh, fine. Goodbye
RRM: Wait.
Me: Ok.
RRM: (Pause) it's been entered into the computer. it should be updated in 12 hours. You will get it in 1-2 business days.
Me: Yeah, thanks. Goodbye.
So finally, two days after that, I get the hard drive. no instructions in it as to how to switch it out, but
fortunately I know enough about computer hardware to be able to do so. I don't know what the average person who comes up against
this sort of thing would do. So I screw everything back in and turn it on. It doesn't start. I remember the first
guy mentioned something about it being a blank hard drive. Great. So after all this waiting and infurioration, I'm
still a four-hour reformatting away from having my computer back.
The bottom line is, don't buy HP's products. Do it as a favor to yourself, and do it as a favor to me.
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